AM - feel the same way about the twins.  These are the only 2 we're having so I'm more interested in having fun and being a happy family than I am in pushing them along to learn as much as possible. 

I've come across a few other moms who really push their little ones to do lots of activities -- while we typically stay at home and get naps in cribs.  At 15 months, we are just now beginning to drop the AM nap. 

And I didn't make them drop their bottles when they turned one.  We still do a 1/2 bottle in the evening.  DS just this week finally lost interest, but DD still sucks hers down.  I imagine she'll give it up on her own in a few more weeks.

US Constitution, Amendment 1:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

 No, I would say you are a realistic mom who is allowing your Ds to progress as he needs to and not how you want him to. From my very limited and not-so-scientific-observations, the kids who have been pushed and can name all the presidents, planets, speak spanish, know their letters and multiplication facts by the time they are 3 are burnt out from "preforming" for their parents every time they say, "Oh, he knows the planets - don't  you Johnny?" Then Johnny parrots what he knows - completely uninterested and without that spark that kids have when they are left to learn at their own pace and as their own interests guide them. The other thing is, the kids who were "unfortunate" (or fortunate - depending on how you look at it...) enough to not have been pushed like Johnny, all even out within the first couple of years of elementary school. As long as there aren't any underlying issues, of course.

No, not a moron in my book. A great mom who is letting him explore his world around him - at his pace. 

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Lacy Bean said it well.  My youngest is 5 so I've been through the baby/toddler stages already.  My kids didn't walk until they were 14 and 15 months old, and I did get a few critical inquiries about the fact that they were "older" walkers, as if I was doing something wrong.  (Help Me Grow is an organization that puts them in the behind category if they don't walk by 12 months.)  My kids have pretty much been on target for their age with most other things...besides the walking.  I have never pushed the learning even now...I think most things come with time, and it does even out at  some point.  Developmentally, I think some kids are thinkers, some talkers, and some are into large motor skills.  It seemed like they could only develop one of these at a time when they were toddlers/babies.

I agree...my son is 3 & he knows a ton more than other kids his age but on the other hand not as much as some kids his age. I follow his lead totally.  If he's really interested in reading (which is has been for a year) we work on it but not under pressure.  We spend every day together & there are some days we do nothing but  play & others he wants to spell his words with playdoh or magnets.  I also don't want him to grow up too fast!  If he is willing/wants to learn then so be it.  It's just my natural instinct to make everything somewhat educational (it's a teacher thing) but I consciously try not to do too much.

See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guide you along the way, and bring you to the place that I have prepared. -Exodus 23:20

I agree with the other posters.  I have found that my second son has learned quite a few things at a younger age because he wants to mimic his brother.  Younger DS has had his own flash cards since he was about your little one's age, but thats because his big brother had sight word cards, and the younger one needed something that he could do too. 

As long as they are happy, I think that is the important part.  I don't understand pushing them into things they are not ready for, but if they are wanting to learn more, then I am all for helping them with that.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

Edgar Allan Poe 

I didn't mean to make it sound like walking late was bad.  If I did, I apologize.  He has really poor gross motor skills.  I watch them show him how to do things over and over and over and he just doesn't get it.  I realize Aidan is freakishly athletically inclined - he's been hitting a ball off a tee for months, holding the bat perfectly and not hitting the tee.  I think it's weird.  He honestly dribbles a soccerball all around our basement - much like the 3-4 year olds look when he watches them at a gym we go to.  But, this other child is also trying to deal with the idea that his parents had that the more they fed him the better he would sleep so he was HUGE.....HUGE.  So I understand some of his gross motor delays.  I'm just curious if she's trying to make up for that.

I sort of remember (it's been a while) reading studies that say that kids who go to preschool vs. those who don't vs. kids who get Head Start and those who don't all even out by the third grade.  I agree with the idea of making your kid a parrot is going to annoy them eventually.  Aidan doesn't perform for others.  He does know his planets from his favorite book - he can't say them, but he'll find them.  But he would never think about doing it for someone other than DH and I.  Strangers creep him out.  LOL  So hopefully we won't ruin his spark in love for learning.

You do what your heart tells you, the rest of the world will get over it.

Maybe her child likes learning those things. My dd was saying her ABC's and knew all of her letters at 18 months- not because we pushed her to, but because she likes learning. She would bring flash cards and books to us, wanting us to read them, show them to her, and tell her what things are.  She was just ready to learn them.

My second dd is similar, but not quite as adamant about learning her letters as she is about reading books. Still, she knows her ABC's and numbers, etc. She's not at the same place her older sister was at 20 months, but she's quite happy and enjoys learning.

It seems like both of our girls are really excited when something finally "clicks"- like they are so proud of themselves. As long as they are happy and enjoying their time, we're happy to teach them new things.

I was a pretty laid back mom until I had my second child.  She's delayed and regressed in speech from babbling at 12 months to nothing by 16 months.  In general, I take my childs lead.  My older child is very smart and gets herself in trouble if she doesn't have a stimulating environment.  So she's ahead acedemically not because I push it but because she is exceedingly curious and wants to know everything.  We had a family discussion just the other day about how smart everyone was in the family.  My DD described how smart everyone was by a number of minutes (she's into numbers and time right now).  I was 100 minutes smart, she was 10 minutes smart, daddy was 2 minutes smart and her brother was 1 minute smart.  She didn't specify a number for her older sister but just said she was smarter than daddy but not as smart as she was.  It was hysterical!  Anyway, I worry way more about her now than I did before.  Since my younger daughter is behind  and on the autism spectrum, I've been exposed to speech, occupational, and physical therapy.  So now I sometimes notice little things in my older daughter that never would have bothered me before.  For example, she's very clumsy and avoids gross motor activities but she is by no means behind.  But I put her in ballet because I thought it might give her a better body awareness and help her develope better coordination.  I probaby wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been through these therapies with my other daughter.  It's hard not to look at my older daughter through a microscope because I do it for my younger daughter.  Philisophically though, I'm not trying to push either daughter to BE anything specific.  I want them to be the best person they can be but not the best AT something, if that makes sense.  I want them to enjoy just being and doing.

kitten6 - I think you're right.  Because of my background, I tend to look at social skills and ability to play appropriately.  The academic will wait until it's appropriate. 

As to him "wanting to learn" the ABCs.  That's actually kind of funny to me.  What 18 month old - really younger b/c they're just 18 months, without being exposed to them, would request to learn about the ABCs?  You have to have it in your house, in your "plan".  It's like the calendar - the date means NOTHING to an 18 month old.  She's going to teach it to him, yet there's no meaning.  The letters don't really mean much, except they're in a song.  It's an abstract concept that the only reason he may "want" to learn them is b/c "mommy" thinks its great and "mommy" wants him to.

You do what your heart tells you, the rest of the world will get over it.

Of course, they don't know "understand" at 18 months the role that the ABC's play in life and language. But my kids both love to point at the letters and have me tell them what they are. They like to repeat them, and they like to hear praise when they say the right letter. Same thing with pictures, animals, items in the house, etc. What's the difference? Don't you point out things in your house, at the park, in the kitchen, in their rooms, parts of bodies, etc? So what's the problem with pointing out other "things" that they are already exposed to, like letters and numbers? If they are exposed to books, they should be seeing enough letters that I would think they'd be interested in knowing more about them.

I don't set out to have them know certain things by certain ages. But we read a ton of books around here. Just as we point out "frog," "bug," "nose," and "sky,"  we also point out "A's," "R's," and "Q's." There's certainly  (IMO) nothing wrong with kids learning things early on, as long as they are enjoying it and not being pushed. 

Do you have a particular age that you think is "appropriate" for kids to know ABC's, numbers, etc? IF so, do you also have an age that you think it's appropriate to know how to pee in the potty? Or sing a song? Or sleep through the night? My point is- all kids are different. Who are you (or me, or anyone else) to determine how soon a child learns something?